The Shattered Pieces of His Heart
by Voidgear
Summary: Saix comes to term with his loss. Mentions of character death. Former Axel x Saix, implied Larxene x Demyx. One-Shot


Saix was not having a good day in the slightest. It had come to his attention in the early hours of the morning that Axel's existence had been snuffed out in a kamikaze suicide attack to save that little brat Roxas' somebody, Sora. The Keyblade Wielder and his companions had almost been overcome by a swarm of nobodies at Betwixt and Between, a portal opened between the old mansion in Twilight Town and the back streets of The World That Never Was. The dusks would have succeeded in killing Sora, Donald and Goofy only for Axel had shown up and battled with them to defeat the lesser nobodies.

When Saix had received the news via Demyx, he could not contain himself and fell to his knees, clutching his chest right where his 'nonexistent' heart was. His head spun and his thoughts clouded over with despair. The look on Demyx's face was a mixture of sympathy and sorrow, suggesting that he himself understood the emotional pain Saix was feeling, even though nobodies like themselves were not supposed to feel emotion. He bent down to Saix's level, awkwardly patting his shoulder and mumbling something about checking back with him later. Saix stayed in that position, on his hands and knees, for several hours, letting every pent up emotion for the past year out; sorrow, stress, rage, grief and, mostly, loss, in a jumble of screams and sobs. When the tears finally stopped coming, he dragged himself up from the floor of his bedroom and stumbled in the direction of his bed. Exhausted, he collapsed on the bed with a dull thud and fell asleep instantly.

The next day Saix awoke mid-afternoon with a thumping headache and eyelids sealed shut with sleep and distress. The scarred nobody peeled one eye open cautiously, afraid of what surroundings he may be met with, only to find himself looking at his own bedroom walls. With a jolt he realised he had no recollection of the previous day.  
"Hey Saix, how are you feeling?", Demyx asked hesitantly from the small recliner in the corner of the room, startling him. The sound of the blonde prompted Saix's memory and left a heavy feeling in his chest. The tell-tale sting behind his eyelids alerted him of the oncoming tears.  
"Demyx", the blue haired nobody began, "about yesterday,-".  
"No", the man interrupted, "don't explain. I understand your reaction; it's just how some people deal with … losing someone, especially someone they really care or even once cared about." Saix bowed his head in acknowledgement and silent agreement. The air between the two grew increasingly heavy and awkward, until Saix broke the silence.  
"You didn't have to come back, you know". The accusing tone he said it in would have made an ordinary person flinch, but Demyx just smiled in a good-natured manner.  
"I know, I wanted to though"  
"Thank you", Saix said in a less acidic tone. "It really means a lot to me. I know you and him were close"  
"Until Roxas and Xion came along", Demyx laughed, but it was not a jealous laugh. Seeing Saix's fists open and close tensely alarmed Demyx slightly, so he stopped talking.  
"A lot of things changed when Roxas and Xion came along", Saix commented bitterly, not noticing Demyx's abrupt silence.  
After a couple of minutes, Demyx spoke up again. "Uh so I was sorta wondering if you wanted to go somewhere today. If it's too soon I understand, but do you wanna like to come see Axel's Proof of Existence? I was gonna go down and leave a candle lighting in his memory, so you should come along with me. Today is a day off, and nearly everyone else is out of the castle, so we won't run into anyone. If you come, that is".  
With a ghost of a grateful smile on his lips, Saix stood up from his bed and headed towards the door. He turned around to beckon Demyx to hurry, only to find the shorter boy already in front of him.

When the pair arrived at Proof of Existence, just as Demyx had assumed, it was deserted. Demyx walked over towards the headstone marked by a pair of chakrams, and Saix followed him and watched as he produced two cinnamon scented candles. He handed one to Saix, who, for his part, accepted it numbly. "Cinnamon was his favourite scent, next to woodsmoke", Saix commented softly. The grief hit him once more, the feeling so intense he felt a bit dizzy. Demyx nodded in reply. The blue eyed nobody then lit his candle and quickly lit Saix's with the same match before blowing it out and laying the matchbox next to the headstone. Saix knelt before the box. "He always wanted to be cremated, not buried. I guess in a sick kind of way his wish came true". A tear fell from Saix's now closed eye, landing next to the box of matches.  
The unusually solemn man knelt next to him, practically feeling the waves of grief roll off the amber eyed nobody. He wanted to wrap his arms around Saix in comfort but was unsure how the other would react to the unexpected touch. Demyx vaguely remembered Axel telling him once that Saix, like Isa before him, had an issue about people invading his personal space and would enter berserker mode if unwanted contact was made. Since then Demyx had consciously respected others space more than he would have without having heard that statement.  
"Saix", he started awkwardly before clearing his throat, "would you mind if I uh, made physical contact with you?"  
"Huh?", Saix replied dumbly, "no, I wouldn't mind at all"  
Demyx stood and took Saix's hand, pulling him up to the same level and embracing him gently. He was relieved when Saix hugged back, tighter. After a moment of the two comforting each other, Demyx pulled back from the surprisingly warm embrace with tears in his eyes. "I lost someone very special too, you know. Come talk to me, if ever you need someone to talk to. My door is always open". Demyx gave Saix one last sad smile before turning and leaving him alone. Silent tears streamed down Saix's face, in thanks to Demyx and for his loss. Just as he was about to leave he noticed something small and turquoise next to the headstone marked by a quartet of knives. Upon further inspection he discovered it was a small plaque with a marking; it read 'All My Love, Demyx'. "So that's what he meant when he said he lost something important too", Saix thought to himself vaguely.

Saix returned to his room after an hour or so, and pulled out the emergency bottle of whiskey he kept under his bed. He then proceeded to get astonishingly drunk alone in his room, cry for a couple of hours and then pass out once more, every emotion that he wasn't supposed to feel finally gone numb.


End file.
